In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
