At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
