i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
