Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
