I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
