Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
