I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize