haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
