Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
you made out with another girl for some wings
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
