went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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