The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
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