Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
