I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
