McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
