I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
