He disabled his match.com account in front of me
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
