YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
