I feel great
I just peed on a car
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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