they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
