onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
