My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i dont even know how to be here
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
