Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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