note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
