You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
