all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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