what day is it and did you see me today?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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