Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
