Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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