I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
