i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
