She is in my trunk
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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