Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
