i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
