carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
That's how pantless uber rides happen
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
