Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
