hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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