Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Farmville is her only friend.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
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