Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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