I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
