If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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