I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Randomize
