Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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