we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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