we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
