Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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