You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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