I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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