Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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