You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize