i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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