Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize