Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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