Will you blow on my dice?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
