just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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