now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
