Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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