You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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