Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i came on her dog
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
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