Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
