My hand turned me down
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
