On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
