I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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