Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
