sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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