I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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